Today was a strange day,,,
It began with a video call from a European country. A woman whom I once loved dearly was calling to tell me, personally, that she was about to marry her boyfriend. Not like she had any obligation (we remained good friends ever since our relationship was over... sure, it took some time, but anyway), but she felt that she wanted me to learn about that directly from herself, rather than "from Facebook gossip", as she said. She seemed far from enthusiastic - not about her partner, with whom she has been living for the last four years, but about the whole "wedding" thing, something she was going to do to please her Eastern European family more than anything. It was somehow an awkward and bittersweet situation, but it was beautiful, refreshing, to find out during the conversation how much she cares about me and how much I still care about her, in spite of the many years that have past. She insists that I would get along just great with her husband, and insisted that if I ever fly/visit their city, that I come and see them. Something I would likely do, if for no other reason as to enjoy her heartfelt, shining humor again.
But the wider issue (being a guy with philosophical inclinations, I must look for the wider issue, right? 😉) is - if relationships evolve, maybe the secret of eternal love is in its transformation? Maybe we never ever ended our relationship - just our feelings for each other took new forms, adjusted to our changing circumstances and for personal growth? I don't know. But I do know that, if after time and space have separated you from somebody, you still can, sincerely, in your heart, wish for the best to that person, and if that person, after such incredibly long time, feels that she wants to inform you of a major change in her life (one that, symbolically, widens the already existing distance), then you must have done something right.
I saw my "old" violin repairs master today. He looks great, he still smokes like a chimney (I had to change my cloths after that to go on with my day!), his craft is still superior. He is doing well, and that is just a tribute to his excellent and reliable work. And I saw a little violin that caught my eye... maybe I'll buy it? Thinking...
Finally, the purpose of this trip was accomplished. At least, the initial part of it. I saw my father today.
He looked thinner, he of course shrank a bit (he was joking that I had become remarkably tall since we met for the last time), he is tan (he's spending a lot of time under the sun now), he got, finally, new teeth, something long overdue, he is walking way better than two years ago, and chiefly, although he is subject to the changes in mood and memory fails of his age, the diagnose of "early senile dementia" seems premature to say the least. He is very much himself. Sure, I was informed that he has "his days" but who doesn't? His memory and language were remarkably sharp - something no medication can fake. The most important part of it, though, was his keen, deep awareness of his situation. There was sadness about the loss of personal freedom and privacy that comes with living in a senior facility, but he understands that without that structure, he couldn't live - at least, not in a healthy and dignified way, and likely not for long. It was great to hear that from him, since my heart was bleeding over his interning in that assisted living facility. He's even writing a book on his experiences!
I will see him again in a week, after returning from Brazil.
Time for a traditional Romanian happy drunken folk song: Gabi Lunca - Cu damigeana si un pahar (With a Jug of Wine and a Glass)!
https://youtu.be/hJKQQF4Aa5s
It began with a video call from a European country. A woman whom I once loved dearly was calling to tell me, personally, that she was about to marry her boyfriend. Not like she had any obligation (we remained good friends ever since our relationship was over... sure, it took some time, but anyway), but she felt that she wanted me to learn about that directly from herself, rather than "from Facebook gossip", as she said. She seemed far from enthusiastic - not about her partner, with whom she has been living for the last four years, but about the whole "wedding" thing, something she was going to do to please her Eastern European family more than anything. It was somehow an awkward and bittersweet situation, but it was beautiful, refreshing, to find out during the conversation how much she cares about me and how much I still care about her, in spite of the many years that have past. She insists that I would get along just great with her husband, and insisted that if I ever fly/visit their city, that I come and see them. Something I would likely do, if for no other reason as to enjoy her heartfelt, shining humor again.
But the wider issue (being a guy with philosophical inclinations, I must look for the wider issue, right? 😉) is - if relationships evolve, maybe the secret of eternal love is in its transformation? Maybe we never ever ended our relationship - just our feelings for each other took new forms, adjusted to our changing circumstances and for personal growth? I don't know. But I do know that, if after time and space have separated you from somebody, you still can, sincerely, in your heart, wish for the best to that person, and if that person, after such incredibly long time, feels that she wants to inform you of a major change in her life (one that, symbolically, widens the already existing distance), then you must have done something right.
I saw my "old" violin repairs master today. He looks great, he still smokes like a chimney (I had to change my cloths after that to go on with my day!), his craft is still superior. He is doing well, and that is just a tribute to his excellent and reliable work. And I saw a little violin that caught my eye... maybe I'll buy it? Thinking...
Finally, the purpose of this trip was accomplished. At least, the initial part of it. I saw my father today.
He looked thinner, he of course shrank a bit (he was joking that I had become remarkably tall since we met for the last time), he is tan (he's spending a lot of time under the sun now), he got, finally, new teeth, something long overdue, he is walking way better than two years ago, and chiefly, although he is subject to the changes in mood and memory fails of his age, the diagnose of "early senile dementia" seems premature to say the least. He is very much himself. Sure, I was informed that he has "his days" but who doesn't? His memory and language were remarkably sharp - something no medication can fake. The most important part of it, though, was his keen, deep awareness of his situation. There was sadness about the loss of personal freedom and privacy that comes with living in a senior facility, but he understands that without that structure, he couldn't live - at least, not in a healthy and dignified way, and likely not for long. It was great to hear that from him, since my heart was bleeding over his interning in that assisted living facility. He's even writing a book on his experiences!
I will see him again in a week, after returning from Brazil.
Time for a traditional Romanian happy drunken folk song: Gabi Lunca - Cu damigeana si un pahar (With a Jug of Wine and a Glass)!
https://youtu.be/hJKQQF4Aa5s
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